What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
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Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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