I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
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Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
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You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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