Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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