You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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