My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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