Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize