I'm really into asian looking animals
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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