we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize