Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize