peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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