So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize