Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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