Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
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Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
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I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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