Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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