well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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