I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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