Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
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i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
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Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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