Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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