Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize