Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
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He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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