OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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