Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
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Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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