He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
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I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
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A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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