Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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