guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
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Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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