life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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