we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
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The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
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Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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