in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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