i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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