Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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