I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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