They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize