between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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