Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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