Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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