I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize