There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
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I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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