i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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