You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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