I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize