You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
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Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
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I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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