4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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