I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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