we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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