i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
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Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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