Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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