You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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