Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
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btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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