The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
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The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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