i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Farmville is her only friend.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize